~ in the Name of Allah (SWT) we shall begin ~

[ Husn St. ] + [ 8.35 p.m ] - [ 30th of Dec 'o8 ]

a very tiring day.
God knows how tired i am today.
2 lectures with a 15-mins break in between
i gave d last part of d 2nd one.
IV Anesthetic agents.
but, o' God..
seriously, seeing those faces of my groupmates..
uh..huh, i wish i can finish it in a split of second.
so bad, i myself felt like so 'worn-out' salad.
how 'bout d evaluation ?
tawakkal 3la Allah.
feel so bad tho' ..
n this is d day.
2 varicose veins surgery, d 2nd one is a li'l bit complicated one..
[ i sound like i'm d 1 who did it :p , in fact, i'm jz standing at d corner,
trying to get a view of dat varicose vein being stripped.
but know what, this surgery makes me lose my interest to become a surgeon tho'.tiring!wut else can i say (V.V)]
n the 2 lectures. attended.

close d book of my daily life.
in the meantime of d seconds i spent,..
GAZA!!
up till now : 370 martyrs , 1400 wounded.
Allah blesses every soul He called to return to Him.


i prayed, o' Allah only U know how to help 'em.
prayed n keep praying for the brothers and sisters in Gaza direly in need..
facing all d threats, bombarding , air raids..
those endless attacks from d all-known TERRORIST on the earth.
ZIONIST nation.
if u don't know it, then go bury urself in deep mud!
d so-called defending steps they took.
if they're really brave, then why attack the Palestinians without a notice?
go to hell with the fake truce they made before with Hamas.
it's not even in a place to call a truce, when u blocked almost all the basic supplies they need to survive !!
when u bombed the power plant and close d borders!


i don't know why the so-called rulers of all countries remain silent of any action ..lip service is nothing , u know that , stubborn coward heads!!
u know words of protest are not heard by the deaf Israeli leaders !!
then, u keep doing the same thing..
where on earth u put ur brain at?
how on earth can u keep watching people being killed , mutilated with no honor..



those innocent people?!
are u scared because ur not-to-be known dark secrets are in their pocket..which at anytime or by showing u aren't pleasant with 'em, u'll be d next after Palis??

i seriously hate Zionist and the illegitimate country they dream to build..
Allah is not blind to whatever u're doing..
n He is never deaf to whatever u whisper of..
the crazy, inhuman plan u have in ur hand.
believe me, i prayed and always pray may the worst ever thing Allah prepared for u in the Hellfire , nothing else can compare..
the worst no human being ever think of or did before..
i know u people are the most coward, yet acting deliberately innocent in d name of defense.that false excuse Allah never fails to know!
Tho' i know Allah is all Merciful, Most Kind , n He's always to any repentance if u're going to make one..

those who support Israel, by any means.
call me un-liberal , close-minded wutsoever..
i have my stance n God's willing, i'm firm on it.
i have no offense towards Israelis who knows their own history, not the blinded ones, who kept being used by the Zionist.
those who know that in the past, they used to live peacefully because of Muslims rulers.Go read the history before u call me uneducated!

i practice open-minded approach and cool relationship with everyone,
be it my Muslim brothers and sisters or my fellow nonMuslim neighbours all over the world.
i'm open to any knowledge-based critiques and comments.
n emotion-based ones as well.
wut i hold, is that u think and evaluate everything that comes in ur way, that comes in ur belief, that comes in every encounter.
all by God's willing, i am a human.therefore , is to err.
so, say sorry if i do wrong.why stiffen stubborn, when it's all a mistake.

this is what i see in the community.
people keep thinking what they're doing is right all the time and be metal-firm on no basis. nothing kills u , God's willing if u try to be open. n go to the root.

if we view it from Hamas's side,
many countries including the disappointing underdeveloped Muslim countries , tend to put d blame on 'em.
with and without they realized what forms Hamas in the 1st place.
Isn't it, o' u blind people out there , Hamas ( may God make 'em firm and steadfast ) formed due to those Zionist aggression ???? . why don't u go to the root? why do u keep calling 'em militants when u know they're d ones being oppressed ??
i hate d way these so-called Muslim countries , express their condolences , but still, put the blame on Hamas.
i openly, support Hamas all the way except when they fight with Fatah.that one being in particular, is both parties' fault.extremely disappointing one.Fatah in neither way i'll support , na3uzubillah.
i have most of my Pali friends are of Fatah supporters..so what?
i hope we agree to disagree.altho', i'm not a Palestinian, Alhamdulillah ,but rather through what i've gained this 22 years of life, i choose to be on Hamas's side,all d way inshaAllah.

So to say,
i dream and pray, if Allah allows me to go to the battlefield, i hope i die a martyr for He knows what's in my heart.
and if it's not the time, o' Allah , put me in the group of people who renders in my place complementing those u've chose to be on the battlefield , as U mentioned :

And the believers should not all go out to fight. Of every troop of them, a party only should go forth, that they (who are left behind) may gain sound knowledge in religion, and that they may warn their folk when they return to them, so that they may beware. (9 : 122)

my heart aches so much to see all the aggression towards my brothers n sisters.Allah knows the pain be it the seen, be it the unseen , u, o' Gazans suffer from and that He wants to see the unity of Muslims which actually still in blurry 'knots'..
He know what He had prescribed for u, for u all are the chosen most strong people to handle this enormous test.

أَحَسِبَ ٱلنَّاسُ أَن يُتۡرَكُوٓاْ أَن يَقُولُوٓاْ ءَامَنَّا وَهُمۡ لَا يُفۡتَنُونَ

Do men imagine that they will be left (at ease) because they say, We believe, and will not be tested with affliction?
(29 : 2)

Allah is always with u , so no pierdas la fe ( don't lose faith )!!

وَإِن يَمۡسَسۡكَ ٱللَّهُ بِضُرٍّ۬ فَلَا ڪَاشِفَ لَهُ ۥۤ إِلَّا هُوَ‌ۖ وَإِن يَمۡسَسۡكَ بِخَيۡرٍ۬ فَهُوَ عَلَىٰ كُلِّ شَىۡءٍ۬ قَدِيرٌ۬

'' If Allah touch thee with affliction, there is none that can relieve therefrom save Him, and if He touch thee with good fortune (there is none that can impair it); for He is Able to do all things.
(6 : 17)

My prayers will always be with you and all the Muslimeen..
may we raise up to unite and to spread peace all over the world.
May Allah give d lights to all our hearts and let us not deviate from the right path He owns..

ALLAH ehdeena , Ya Rabb ~

releasing 'em out

~ in the Name of Allah (SWT) we shall begin ~

[ Husn St. ] + [ 9.18 p.m ] - [ 22nd of Dec 'o8 ]

yes, i know.
second in a row.
in a night.
these things bottled up.
i want 'em out.

tho' d exam is juz d day after tomorrow.
tho' i haven't make any prep for tomorrow's round.
yet, i don't wanna be seen as loser.
by 'em.who u know whos.
n who r u?
yet, i wanna score dean's list so bad this year n next final year.

i don't know.
i don't regret taking medicine.
i don't want to regret coming here, instead of studying elsewhere.
yes, i don't want to.tho' somehow, this known-to-be negative feeling somehow at times, bothers me a lot. n i mean it when i say a lot.

come to think of d many good things God gave me after i came here,
i shouldn't be ungrateful.
i learned a lot.to be a good God's servant.
acquiring Islam instead of purely inheriting it.
it started here.here in Jordan.

friends and languages.
i don't have many arab friends tho'.
and it's a regret since i won't be any longer here.
2010 and i'm gone inshaAllah.inshaAllah.
i'm so looking forward to it.
badly looking forward to it.
i should make some more friends, aite?
good ones, inshaAllah i will.

sisters for life here.
moments shared.feelings poured.
altho' not all.
some things are better left unsaid.
especially d uncool side of me.
tho' sometimes, they got escaped.
poor me.
i love each one of u, sisters who come into my life.
tho' i kind of static n not easily expressed the good feelings i have towards others.
sadly to say, d bad feelings got easily expressed n often at times,u got me wrong.
all n all, i love u gurls.
for God's sake.may we meet under His blessings in the eternal Paradise , n blessed with the chance to see His Face live!God's willing.

escape from the broken-hearted dump.
yes, once.
he knows why he did this to me.
but, i should thank him for this.
as i begin to seek the One True Eternal Love.
that will never fail to love me in return.
and, knowing that he's back with his ex,
i kinda relieved.as i won't be accused as being d 3rd party later on.
God bless me huh?
SubhanAllah for all His arrangement.
tho' it's so tad unexplained pain n tiredness i suffered from.
well, hearts don't break even.in the 1st place, the heart itself isn't symmetrical.
no offense.i deeply thank God.for putting him off my life.
swiftly, but it all gone by now.the feelings.
but still the moments are still memories.
carved in my history.i can't deny it once come.
jz admit it and say, 'i've learned my capacity to love someone, n how i badly handle things when it's over' . jz to conclude, it's not yet my time.
God knows when. n i inshaAllah don't wanna question if it doesn't come when i'm alive.
i believe God prepares the best for me there inshaAllah.
n i've sorted out wut i'm gonna do if the one doesn't appear.jz to plan, in case.

more things to come.
better back to study n focused .


God, bless us forever.
at all times.
at all feelings.
at all encounters.

U know best.
n all the faith be firm on U.
n all d hopes we hang on U.
put us in the utmost calm and blessings in all prosperities or calamities.
n u know, i need it the most now.

Forgive me when i whine.

::

Hadith # 19 ( The Forty Hadith )

On the authority of Abdullah bin Abbas, who said : One day I was behind the prophet and he said to me:

"Young man, I shall teach you some words [of advice] : Be mindful of Allah, and Allah will protect you. Be mindful of Allah, and you will find Him in front of you. If you ask, ask of Allah; if you seek help, seek help of Allah. Know that if the Nation were to gather together to benefit you with anything, it would benefit you only with something that Allah had already prescribed for you, and that if they gather together to harm you with anything, they would harm you only with something Allah had already prescribed for you. The pens have been lifted and the pages have dried."

Narrated by Termithi, who said it is true and fine hadith

In a version other than that of Tirmithi it reads:

"..Be mindful of Allah, you will find Him before you. Get to know Allah in prosperity and He will know you in adversity. Know that what has passed you by was not going to befall you; and that what has befallen you was not going to pass you by. And know that victory comes with patience, relief with affliction, and ease with hardship."

n i somehow feel relieved.All praise be with Allah.
God, please bless me.

from a bigger picture

~ in the Name of Allah (SWT) we shall begin ~

[ Husn St. ] + [ 8.16 p.m ] - [ 22nd of Dec 'o8 ]


'and the list goes on ~ '
this typical sentence to be used.
yes, as i get aged and hope that Allah still gives me the chance to breath this next second.
EVENTS.

Events happened and expected to happen as time goes on.
those that leave marks in ur life or not.
Insignificant or not.
those i want to forget , yet still remain.
those i don't want to forget , yet forgotten.
those in between or neither.

life is all that.
putting 'all for God's sake' make it different from others.
yeah, i hope i always remember this.
as i keep forgetting this one big thing.

these days.
these unstable days.
stone-headed me.time-waster me.
day-dreaming me.
so non-productive.
don't put the blame on others.
i keep telling myself.

i don't know what's up with me.
somethings 'are' not okay.
perhaps,...
i haven't been so into Qur'an these days.
i haven't been performing qiyam regularly these days.
i made my mom & dad somehow unpleasant with me.
i made my friends somehow got hurt with my words.
and so, the result is this?

i'm so sorry God.
i'm so sorry everyone.
i can't find the things yet.
but i know something went wrong, or maybe it still goes wrong.
i'm so sorry if i made anyone got hurt with any of my doings or my saying.
without any intention or with.

these days, those things return..
those past events that i don't wanna remember ;
those bad assumptions i keep suppress deep in my heart,
hoping they will go away ;
those so unmotivated feelings that render me being such a loser..

wut's up with me..
i did get myself looking at all these from a bigger picture..
as there are bits i may not see when i confined things all in a view.

well.
i need time to think.
so, God, don't take my soul from me yet, please..
as i'm not prepared.
totally not prepared.

life must go on anyhow.
and i really hope God give me brighter sunshine this moment on.
and i wake up the next morning , a grateful and relaxed me.inshaAllah.inshaAllah.

i can cry anytime i want , can I?
altho', this is a so uncool statement.
i realized that i'm so not strong..
or should i jz say, weak?

::

Dad's :
Remember Allah + Have Good Faith in Him.
Always Salawat to our beloved Rasulullah

i know i shouldn't complain

~ in the Name of Allah (SWT) we shall begin ~

[ Husn St. ] + [ 7.02 p.m ] - [ 30th of Nov 'o8 ]



These are all tests.
And everything doesn't always go ur way.
i know. n i have faith in Allah.

i lose interest .
tho' i know i have to keep on moving .
n i know i have to work hard.
harder since that.

this is just too much for me.
i hate pressure.
i hate the feeling of being a loser.

This time, it comes once again.
i jz wanna have good assumption on others.
n i know mom n dad are so happy that i made it.
but, this is killing me.

this feeling.
maybe it's not dat big for u.
i previously keep saying that to myself too.
but not this time.
maybe i'm thinking too much.
maybe because there r so many things happening rite now,
they're superimposing this.

i don't know.
i know God has destined this as the best to be destined.
i don't question.but, it is a pressure nonetheless.

Do u wonder why i came to Jordan?
Do u wonder why Malaysians came here?
If i'm able to, i won't choose to be here.
I don't wanna come to Middle East in the first place.
tho' they say people here are good, they don't drink.

i juz feel frequently being insulted.
do u think i really wanna be here?
tho i've been here for 5 yrs.
i know should nag no more.
i don't want to.but i am sad.
for being treated as such.
maybe u don't mean it.
but it hurts.
maybe i'm being super sensitive.
i should not use this excuse.

i juz want u to know.
if i am to be given another chance,
i won't pick here to further my study.
i'm not mad.i'm juz purely sad.
for most of u are Muslims.
and i'm one.
but we are being seen as so different creatures.
i'm not the only one to feel this.
so are the others.
isn't it that Muslims are 1 ummah, 1 brotherhood?

i don't ask u to treat me like a princess.
i jz want to be respected and welcomed.
that's all.
i know we seem not that different from Indonesians.
who u look at like ur slaves.
they are juz working their all 4 limbs for halaal wages..
and u're looking at us like how u look at them.

i wonder what brotherhood meaning u understand from being Muslim.
sometimes, those non-Muslims treat us much better.
i don't care what intentions they have.
if they have one.but still, they treat us better.

and once again, i'm not mad.
i'm juz purely disappointed.
for this world is actually of no borders.
we're divided by the invaders so as to make us weak.
but u agree to that and act accordingly.
don't u agree if i say our nationality is Muslim?

i don't wanna put too much pressure on myself.
and u as well.
i pray n will always pray.
that God will make u understand.

comeback..briefly.

~ in the Name of Allah (SWT) we shall begin ~

AL-BÂRI' * AL-MUSAWWIR * AL-GHAFFÂR * AL-QAHHÂR
[ Husn St. ] + [ 12.09 p.m ] - [ 27th of Sept 'o8 ]


after 2 months of no-updates ...
i do longing to write many stuffs these 2 months but ..
something , err, many things i feel, are better left unsaid n kept bottled inside..

well, anyhow , this blog is for me to write anything that when i read it back in near future, i'll recall, ponder , giggle or laugh as i flash back to that very moment..


actually i kinda feel empty rite now..

i'm sorry God.i'm sorry..
i'm drifted away..eventho' this holy Ramadhan is all here...

[ repost ]

~ in the Name of Allah we shall begin ~

AL-'AZÎZ * AL-JABBÂR * AL-MUTAKABBIR * AL-KHÂLIQ

[ Husn St. ] + [ 05.13 p.m ] - [ 26th of July 'o8 ]

* * *

In this life, it’s not just about ur own life. but, the others’s as well . This world doesn’t just revolve around me, but u as well .

To myself, i remind : Learn to live with people . and care for ‘em.
regardless of the way , be it a ’seen’ one , be it the ‘unseen’ one .

and because this time Allah permits me to care, encountered one that got me reminded ’bout the purpose of life and where i’m heading [n u’re heading ] towards , when most of the time i got deviated tho’ knowing the truth ..i thought : ‘ i wanna share it with all of u ‘ . for when i forget , u will remind me, inshaAllah .

let’s be d group of people who Allah has mentioned in The Book ::

” Save those who believe and do good works, and exhort one another to truth and exhort one another to endurance ”
[ Al-Asr : 3 ]

~ Soothing yet Awakening . . ~






A 35-minute vid won’t waste a 24-hour day u’ve got today

~ in the Name of Allah we shall begin ~

AL-QUDDÛS * AS-SALÂM * AL-MU'MIN * AL-MUHAYMIN

[ Husn St. ] + [ 04.24 p.m ] - [ 26th of July 'o8 ]

Telah bersabda Rasulullah S.A.W,
“Hitunglah ada enam perkara yang akan terjadi menjelang (di gerbang pintu) hari kiamat, iaitu:

1. KEMATIANKU,

2. kemudian Penaklukan Baitul Maqdis,

3. kemudian kematian mengejut seperti penyakit Qu’as kambing (penyakit yang pernah menyerang kambing dan mematikannya dengan cepat).

4. kemudian melimpahnya wang (harta) sehingga apabila seseorang diberi gaji seratus dinar (dinar adalah wang yang emas tulin), maka dia tetap tidak puas (kesal),

5. kemudian munculnya fitnah (godaan, kekacauan, kemaksiatan) yang memasuki setiap rumah-rumah orang Arab(media dan televisyen).

6. kemudian adanya genjatan senjata (perdamaian) antara kamu dengan Bani Ashfar (eropah dan amerika), kemudian mereka mengkhianati kamu, di mana mereka akan menyerangmu di bawah 80 bendera dan di bawah tiap-tiap bendera itu terdapat 12,000 orang (tentera)”

(Riwayat Bukhari dalam Kitab Sahihnya dari 'Auf bin Malik,
Kitab al-Jizyah wa al-Mawadda’ah, Juz 6,
diriwayatkan oleh Ahmad dan Tabrani, dari Muaz bin Jabal ).